I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
