Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
