Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
