Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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