honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
