Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
