A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
