I should be sponsored by Trojan
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
