Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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