Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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