All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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