yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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