apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
