i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
