I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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