there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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