The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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