i just wanna soil my oats bro
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
