im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
