Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
