We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize