So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
