I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
