so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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