if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
