Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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