Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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