I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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