It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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