great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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