new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
