She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish you could order shots online.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize