Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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