Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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