my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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