There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize