My balls are so social today.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
