i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's shark week go big or go home
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
