If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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