Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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