I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
