On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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