shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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