Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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