do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
