Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize