just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
