i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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