absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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