I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
