Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize