She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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