apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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