fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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