hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
