Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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