My balls are so social today.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
