he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
