Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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