That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
