Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
