don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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