We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
