In the future we'll all be gay
In America we eat man semen.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
