so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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