When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
