Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
