Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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