That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
