it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize