he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
