either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hope mine doesn't look like that
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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