he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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