So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
