Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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