he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
